Giving
“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.”
I’ve heard one interpretation of life as you’re either coming out of a stressful situation or you’re heading into one. Another is ‘stressed’ spelled backwards is ‘desserts’. Whichever approach you take, none of us are immune to those seasons in our lives where we are experiencing our own crisis or being affected by someone else’s. There are ways to relieve stress but most provide only temporary comfort. A favorite drink, food, exercise, or a rousing game of Twister may provide a small escape from those disturbing periods in our lives. Here’s a remedy that provides a contagious reaction and a lifelong payback...
Give.
I was listening to a doctor on television talk about the following health benefits when you “give” during times of stress;
First, you feel happy. Giving activates regions of the brain associated with pleasure, social connection, trust, and creates a “warm glow” effect. Scientists believe altruistic behavior releases endorphins in the brain, producing the positive feeling known as the “helper’s high.”
Giving is good for your health. Research suggests that one reason giving may improve physical health and longevity is that it helps decrease stress. People who provide social support to others have lower blood pressure than those who don’t, suggesting a direct physiological benefit to those who give of themselves.
Giving promotes cooperation and social connection. Several studies by sociologists have suggested that when you give to others, your generosity is likely to be rewarded by others down the line—sometimes by the person you gave to, sometimes by someone else.
Giving evokes gratitude. The Research Project on Gratitude and Thankfulness, found that teaching college students to “count their blessings” and cultivate gratitude caused them to exercise more, be more optimistic, and feel better about their lives overall.
I know these results could be based on controlled environments or researchers trying to justify their funding, but I’d like to share my own experience that supports these studies and brings a smile and good health to my bones. I was standing in line at a CVS drugstore behind a young boy of about eleven years old who was holding a few individual candies which he carefully placed on the cash register conveyor belt. He watched with a controlled excitement as he anticipated the deliciousness waiting for him just outside the door. As he did this, he noticed a big bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups strategically placed in the checkout line calling out to him like a Siren to a sailor. He carefully took it from the display and placed it with the few candies he had already picked out.
The cashier rang up his cost and as he pulled out a hand full of change from his pocket, he realized he didn’t have enough money to pay for his treasure of sweet guilty pleasures. He held up each bag as he tried to decide which would be the sacrificial confection he would be forced to surrender. I whispered to the cashier “just put the difference on my charge”. She seemed surprised and this young boy was visibly appreciative and could only look at me like I was some sort of Robin Hood for the candy-less and say “thank you mister!” It was a memorable moment of sensing a good deed was done, in spite of what a fanatical dentist would’ve recommended. The cashier gave me a friendly smile and rang up my purchases.
It came out to some dollars and a few quarters, I handed her the bills and reached into my pocket to grab the difference, she said with a wide grin “don’t worry about the change.”
Without trying to be impressive, I had become contagious and infected someone with kindness. The point of this story isn’t to toot my own horn, it’s only to prove what age old wisdom and current studies tell us. When times are stressful and you want a remedy that will inspire and revive generosity in others, consider kind words, extra time, or loose change to touch someone else’s life. Giving and other acts of kindness fortifies hope and faith in others and ultimately helps me be the kind of man I admire.