Decisions
“Youth is a blunder, manhood a struggle, old age a regret”
Sometimes life gives us our answers even before we need them. Here’s an example, I happen to also be a benefits advisor for a supplemental insurance company and the most common reason I hear from individuals not wanting coverage is “nah, I don’t need it, I’m good.” So was my wife until she was rear ended by a semi-truck which left her temporarily disabled. The difference was my wife had the wisdom to know how fast our circumstances could change and purchased an accident policy through her job a couple of years prior to the accident.
So instead of praying for a financial miracle to see us through that extremely difficult time, we were able to weather the storm by having the foresight to see our answer even before we needed it. The generous amount we received from our supplemental insurance coverage brought the financial support we desperately needed. We saw our answer before we needed it.
The purpose of sharing this story isn’t to scare you into buying insurance, but something just as important; to have the wisdom to search and uncover the answers to potential problems even before you need them! Listen to the voices of counsel as you would listen to an explosion expert guiding you through a minefield, at midnight, during a lunar eclipse. There is something to be said about the aged and experienced as quoted in an old Viking saying: “Fight me if you wish, but remember that I am old for a reason.” Every man relives moments in his life where he would love the luxury of a second chance at decisions that didn’t work out as planned. If hindsight is 20/20, then foresight should almost be prophetic if we are wise enough to learn lessons from past mistakes. If you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
Without being able to anticipate all consequences of our decisions, we do things that seem to be for the right reason at the time. There’s nothing wrong in wanting to be “The Knight in Shining Armor” to rescue the afflicted, or taking a stance for the underdog who has no one else to fight for them. What we may not consider during a “hero mentality” moment is maybe the afflicted person isn’t looking to be rescued. We may be interfering with a foundational life lesson being played out that will change the trajectory of their life for the better. Maybe that underdog is suffering the results of bad judgment, have given their minimal effort to succeed, or have burned all their bridges.
Sometimes doing “good” isn’t always Godly. John Bevere, the author of ‘Good or God’ tells us “If Eve, who was perfect and living in a flawless environment, could still be deceived, how much easier is it for those of us with imperfect minds and living in a corrupted world—a skewed society—to be deceived into judging what is damaging, to be good?”. We are all capable of making snap decisions that require immediate action, but what about on-going decisions to manage the daily responsibilities of adulthood? If you are wise and not ruled by ego, remember the words from the Book of Proverbs that tells us “Refuse good advice and watch your plans fail; take good counsel and watch them succeed.”
Inherently, we are all a little resistant of being told what to do. I have always told my children, especially in their adulthood, that they need to learn to make their own decisions, but listen to the advice of those who have already walked that path, then make their decisions based on counsel. It’s our obligation as men to help those in our lives reason through the consequences of their choices and temper any irrational sense of independence. Most importantly, know what you want, but don’t limit your possibilities.
“If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise.” - Robert Fritz, an American author, management consultant, composer, and filmmaker.