Five Minutes
“All that really belongs to us is time; even he who has nothing else has that. ”
What would you do if you had only five minutes to live? If you were strapped in an airplane that lost its engines and was on a clear course straight into a mountain side in the next five minutes, what would your final wish be? Thankfully if you’re reading this, you’re not having to worry about being in such a crisis...or are you?
This sentiment of “what would you do if you only had one day to live” has been touted so much that it has lost it’s significance. We all know no one is promised the next day, let alone the next second. No one understands the fragility of life until they find themselves in a situation where either they, or someone they love no longer exists this side of heaven. There are those who I’ve lost in my life who I wished I could’ve taken more time with when they called just to check on me when I was “busy”. Wished I stayed for an extra cup of coffee when I stopped by for a visit, listened to the stories told over and over of the memorable moments in their own lives, and stepped outside of my comfort zone to hug or say “I Iove you” as I looked into their eyes.
If you only had five more minutes to exist in the world you created, what would you do? In the continuum of time, we tend to look past the present and into the future. A future that is not guaranteed, but a present that surely is.
I conducted my own experiment of living like I only had five minutes left on this earth and encountered such a overwhelming list of those who have played such a vital role in my life, I ran out of time. Those who taught me life lessons, such as treating me as who I could become and not who I foolishly presented myself as. Those who loved me, not out of obligation but out of a choice to sacrifice their importance to make me feel I was a valued part of their existence. I dove in head first and reached out to those “treasures” who still exist and who took the time for me in their own lives.
I don’t know what was more fulfilling, the texts and calls I made, or the responses I received from those who have actively reciprocated in my life. As I typed out my texts and made my phone calls, my heart was softened with a much needed deep tissue massage, though uncomfortable, it definitely improved my level of stress and quality of sleep saying “just wanted you to know how much I appreciate you in my life”. To my surprise, the initial list wasn’t as extensive as I thought. The ones who first came to mind were those who actively contributed to my life and not just those who existed on the perimeter of my existence. If you would ask a dying man for his last wish, it’s always to have more time with those he loved and who loved him back.
In times of solitude of thoughts and emotions, I reminisce about those who carried me through difficult times that may not seem too significant to those who provided counsel, but for me it was the bridge that I needed to continue my journey towards the healing I desperately sought. The extra time spent to make sure I was okay before ending the conversation, the card or text of encouragement, the ‘let’s go out and have fun”, and even the correction when my actions were not becoming of a true gentleman.
Though I realize I may never measure up to the character of those I admire for their ability to display their genuine love and patience for others, I also recognize the fragilities that exist within me are revealed by the honorable actions of others which allow me to see the weaknesses that have gone unnoticed for years. Only when I can acknowledge my shortcomings as a man of honor and integrity, will I ever be able to sincerely and passionately continue my journey towards becoming the better man I was created to be.